How To Bust Out Of Your Boring Sex Routine
Unfortunately, if
we’re not careful and intentional about it, a routine-oriented mindset can take
over our sex lives too, and unlike the workplace, where routines can mean
success, routine in the bedroom usually means boredom, apathy, and loss of
intimacy.
Old habits are the
opposite of what the heart wants. Instead, sex should be a sort of play — a
journey of self-discovery that doesn’t always go exactly according to plan.
Think of the last big trip you took: Did everything go just as you expected?
Were the most memorable moments the carefully pre-planned activities or the
spontaneous decision to ditch the museum tour and go for a boat ride or a walk
through an outdoor market? In matters of the heart, a little unpredictability
and an adventurous spirit go a long way.
If you find yourself
feeling stuck in a boring sexual routine with your partner, think of it as an
opportunity to try something new and restart that journey of self-exploration.
This kind of lull in intimacy happens to all couples eventually, but the good
news is that there’s a great (and somewhat surprising) way to reinvigorate your
sex life with more novelty, mystery, and play: be just a little bit selfish.
Here’s the thing
about routines — they make everything run smoothly, which means that your life
can fit in neatly with the lives of the people around you. We all make
sacrifices for the convenience and wellbeing of others, and while this isn’t a
bad thing on its own, no one can live that way forever. Sometimes, you need to
break away from the perfect routines and indulge something just because it
interests and excites you.
Take some time to
think about what you — just you — love. For once, put your partner out of your
mind and reconnect with the things you’re passionate about. Maybe it’s painting,
playing music, or going for long walks or hikes. Maybe you’re more of an
adrenaline junkie, and it’s skydiving or mountain biking that get your heart
racing. Maybe it’s as simple as reading a really good book that’s been sitting
on your shelf, unread, for years now. Regardless of the activity, take some
time to remember the things that bring a smile to your face, and give yourself
permission to do them. Interrupt your routine, take some time just for
yourself, be a little bit selfish, and do what makes you happy.
This kind of
indulgence has so many great benefits. First of all, it will increase your
immediate happiness. Doing activities we love can be a reset button on our
whole outlook on life. It’s a great way to put aside daily stress, open your mind
to more creative and emotional ways of thinking, and remind you of who you are
as an individual.
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It will also make
you a better partner. Remember when you first met your partner and felt sparks
flying every time you learned something new about them? Back then, you were
drawn to each other because of your unique passions and your rich, interesting
lives. This is your chance to bring that feeling back to life. By indulging
your interests and passions, you continue to grow and deepen as an individual,
and you make yourself a more interesting and exciting person to be around. This
will lead to stronger attraction and more exciting sex between you and your
partner, and it might even encourage your partner to reconnect with their
passions as well.
Finally, it will
also remind you that life is full of choices. One of the things that makes
rigid routines dangerous is that they make us forget that we have choices about
how to act, think, and feel every day. When you start letting your schedule
make decisions for you, you miss lots of opportunities to choose your best,
happiest, most fulfilled life.
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